Church Plant “Hershey Church". (Not the official name)
Why start this new church?
I have had a heart for Hershey that has become a passion over time. God spoke and I felt compelled to do all that I can to reach the people of Hershey.
Vision. To plant and develop a Christ-centered spirit-filled church, reaching the lost. To have a thriving congregation, devoted to spiritual growth, and reaching our community.
Hershey is a growing community with a large population of young families. At present, there is no A/G church reaching the vast population within Hershey.
"Hershey Church" ministry focus group
20 to 40 year old singles and families
As we move to this community, their practical needs will become more evident.
Proposed launch location, CocoaPlex Cinema at 1150 Cocoa Ave
What kind of church are we trying to plant?
7 core values of this new church.
1. Love people when they least expect it and least deserve it.
2. Everyone is invaluable and irreplaceable
3. Everything is an experiment
4. You cannot out-give God
5. Ministry that is socially relevant in modern society
6. Helping others discover their God-given purpose in life
7. Commitment to excellence in life and in ministry
** As we grow our launch team, we will bring clarity to the listed core values.
Missions statement. “Helping people understand there are sweeter things in life than chocolate.”
“A sweet place to connect with Christ!” "Engage, Equip and Empower Life in Christ"
*This will grow with our team...
What style of church will this be? Progressively Relevant.
Ideal launch team: A team of 20 people filled with faith, loves adventure,
hardworking worshipers who have great connection to other “life giving churches”.
Timeline to plant this church to One Year Anniversary:
From today until the first anniversary of your church’s public launch.
July: Gather the Launch Team in Hershey
July: Join the Rotary Club of Hershey... Business Relationships
Aug:11 Pre-Launch Service (Rib Fest in the Park with Live Band and Message)
Sept:15 Pre-Launch Service (Service @ Launch location)
Oct:13 Pre-Launch Service (Service @ Launch location) **Start Small Groups**
Each of the Pre-Launch services will be marketed with business card size invite cards while 2
and 3rd Pre-launch will also be marketed with direct mailings to the 17033 zip code.
Nov. 17 Launch Hershey Church. (Marketed like Pre-Launch 2&3 as well as phone calls to all
contacts from each pre-launch)
November: Scout new locations for “Hershey Church” Easter Service
Run Consecutive Sunday services...
December: Partner with The Salvation Army to “Ring the Bell”
...Ringers sponsored by “Hershey Church”
Dec. 22 Christmas Service
Dec. 24 Christmas Eve Dinner/Service (Hershey Lodge)
*Front Door Event is a service geared to engage the church in evangelism*
Give-a-ways come from donations given by sponsors of the event... Business Relationships
Jan. 5 “Brand New” *Front Door Event* Sunday... Brand name stuff give-a-way and
“Brand New” 4 week series start Valentine’s Dinner Invite cards out...
Feb. 2 “The Big Game” (Super Bowl themed service) *Front Door* Jersey Give-a-way
Feb. 14 Rose Outreach in Hershey (Rose give-away with invite cards)
Feb. 14 Valentine’s Dinner /Service (Hershey Lodge)
March: Hershey Pub Tour/Food Drive (Jesus Music Jazz / Hershey Church Style instrumental)
Church Invite cards ready to give out... Need to book Tour and create posters
Apr. 20 Easter Sunday Services *Front Door* Direct Mail invite to 17033 by April 6th
May: Sports Outreach (Water Bottles to Parents and Kids at the Township Games)
May 11 Mother’s Day *Front Door* Free Family Photos with Bentley Photography
June 15 Father’s Day (Bikers Blessing & Rib Fest) *Front Door*Marketed with Invite cards and
yard signs.
July 20 Church Picnic “Celebrate the Dream” *Front Door*
August: School Supplies Drive... for Hershey School District...”Know Needs”
Sept. 7 Salute to America... First Responders recognition and 9/11 service
Oct. 31 Block Parties! (“light the night” type events in community)
Nov. 16 ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!
If you made it this far in your reading without falling asleep or getting bored... Wow! Maybe God is asking you to join this crazy group of people moving to Hershey PA to launch a brand new church! Well, at least pray about it!
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Life among the Fig Trees
Luke 13:6-9
* The story begins like this, “A man HAD a fig tree that was planted in HIS vineyard.” This phrase tells us several things;
1. The Possession of the Fig Tree – The Owner possessed the tree. It was His. No one could or would argue the point because he obviously owned the land, field, and all that is there. He needs no one’s permission for anything He does, He’s the owner. Everything and everyone on His land obeys Him. Because they own the tree they check for bugs, birds, and all the rest. They protect, care for, and oversee every part of the fig tree’s existence.
2. The Presence of the Fig Tree – This tree in HIS garden gave Him the expectation of things to come. It was not a baby tree, it was not a neglected tree, and it was not a diseased tree. From our reading we can easily assume (by the attitude of the owner) that is was a tree which held some promise. Additionally (by the attitude of the vineyard worker) it was a tree which was thought substandard. This was a tree taking up space in the vineyard of the master and carried the expectation of functioning.
3. The Purpose of the Fig Tree – We need to pause here to make something completely clear. Purpose for a person’s life (or a tree) did not originate with the “purpose-driven” books and people of today. Part of the problems seen today among God’s people is that we have little clue about our God given purpose in life. We go along to get along and wait to die. * Every tree has a purpose. The purpose of the fig tree is to produce figs. Obviously, when the owner came out to check the tree, he expected to see some fruit. He knew the tree and knew what it was capable of and went LOOKING, seeking, or sought fruit. The Greek word means to “seek in order to find” It is the same word used in Mark 8 when Jesus was debating with the Pharisees and He asked, “Why does this generation demand a sign?” The owner felt he was justified in expecting something from His fig tree in His garden in which he had time & energy invested. * Now, let’s pause and reflect just for a few minutes; for those who have come to Christ, we are His possession. We have been bought with a price. This means we are no longer are independent or in control of our lives, we are now His. He freely gives us all we need to grow, mature, and even fight off the diseases of the evil one. Here is the clincher, just as surely as the garden owner expects something from his tree, so does our Lord expect something from us. The fig tree is expected to produce figs. The disciples of Jesus are expected to produce disciples of Jesus. We can debate or doubt this, but the facts are clear.
4. The Problem with the Fig Tree – We read the master came looking for fruit and found NONE!! Don’t miss this, HE CAME EXPECTING TO GET SOME FRUIT. The only way the fig tree could fulfill its purpose and justify its existence was to produce fruit. This truth is one of the great missing links in the American church today. In point of fact, we don’t think this is such a big deal. This explains why congregations die and believers are passive. The body has become diseased and is not producing fruit. Baptisms are down, discipleship is almost non-existent, gifts of the spirit lay dormant, and the result is the fruits of the spirit are in short supply. One of the truths we need to grasp and carry with us is this; just as the master expects something of HIS possession so does God expects something of HIS people.
5. The Patience toward the Fig Tree – This is a noteworthy thought. The tree didn't just have a bad year or a bad season; this tree was habitually not producing what it was designed to produce. The master came to the end of his rope. In other words, “Enough was enough.” So he said, “CUT IT DOWN! It’s waste of good soil. These words need to resonate within the heart of every believer because God will not always strive with man.
6. The Plan for the Fig Tree – When the master was ready to give up, the worker asked, “Can we give it one last try?” Please, one more year, let me work it like I've never worked it before. I’ll fertilize it, soften the ground, water it, prune it, I give it my all this year. And if it doesn't respond?” At the risk of taking this illustration too far, in my divine imagination I can hear a hypothetical conversation between God the Father and God the Son going something like this; “These people are back where they were in the days of Noah.” “Father, you promised.” “I know, but I am once again regretting that I made mankind, they are so wickedly lazy.” “I know Father, but let me give it my best now.” “Why should we do that? I’ve given them my best and they trample on everything I told them to do.” “Father, I will go down there and live among them. I give them fresh water and the word and cultivate them as best as I can. If they don’t turn from their selfish evil ways, then you can do it your way.” And with that, Jesus left heaven, came to earth, shed His blood, gave His life, and taught about producing fruit. (Now, I know this did not, in reality, happen this way. But if we can grasp the meaning of the story, we move a step closer to understanding its significance and seriousness.) God has a plan for each of us. We are His fruit tree in His vineyard living under the shadow of His expectation.
7. The Prospects for the Fig Tree– It’s up to the fig tree. God give us the capacity to be fruitful and whether we do or whether we do not, is our responsibility. He gives us His love, His Spirit, His power, and His support.
Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always… Rejoice: The expression of Joy
* The story begins like this, “A man HAD a fig tree that was planted in HIS vineyard.” This phrase tells us several things;
1. The Possession of the Fig Tree – The Owner possessed the tree. It was His. No one could or would argue the point because he obviously owned the land, field, and all that is there. He needs no one’s permission for anything He does, He’s the owner. Everything and everyone on His land obeys Him. Because they own the tree they check for bugs, birds, and all the rest. They protect, care for, and oversee every part of the fig tree’s existence.
2. The Presence of the Fig Tree – This tree in HIS garden gave Him the expectation of things to come. It was not a baby tree, it was not a neglected tree, and it was not a diseased tree. From our reading we can easily assume (by the attitude of the owner) that is was a tree which held some promise. Additionally (by the attitude of the vineyard worker) it was a tree which was thought substandard. This was a tree taking up space in the vineyard of the master and carried the expectation of functioning.
3. The Purpose of the Fig Tree – We need to pause here to make something completely clear. Purpose for a person’s life (or a tree) did not originate with the “purpose-driven” books and people of today. Part of the problems seen today among God’s people is that we have little clue about our God given purpose in life. We go along to get along and wait to die. * Every tree has a purpose. The purpose of the fig tree is to produce figs. Obviously, when the owner came out to check the tree, he expected to see some fruit. He knew the tree and knew what it was capable of and went LOOKING, seeking, or sought fruit. The Greek word means to “seek in order to find” It is the same word used in Mark 8 when Jesus was debating with the Pharisees and He asked, “Why does this generation demand a sign?” The owner felt he was justified in expecting something from His fig tree in His garden in which he had time & energy invested. * Now, let’s pause and reflect just for a few minutes; for those who have come to Christ, we are His possession. We have been bought with a price. This means we are no longer are independent or in control of our lives, we are now His. He freely gives us all we need to grow, mature, and even fight off the diseases of the evil one. Here is the clincher, just as surely as the garden owner expects something from his tree, so does our Lord expect something from us. The fig tree is expected to produce figs. The disciples of Jesus are expected to produce disciples of Jesus. We can debate or doubt this, but the facts are clear.
4. The Problem with the Fig Tree – We read the master came looking for fruit and found NONE!! Don’t miss this, HE CAME EXPECTING TO GET SOME FRUIT. The only way the fig tree could fulfill its purpose and justify its existence was to produce fruit. This truth is one of the great missing links in the American church today. In point of fact, we don’t think this is such a big deal. This explains why congregations die and believers are passive. The body has become diseased and is not producing fruit. Baptisms are down, discipleship is almost non-existent, gifts of the spirit lay dormant, and the result is the fruits of the spirit are in short supply. One of the truths we need to grasp and carry with us is this; just as the master expects something of HIS possession so does God expects something of HIS people.
5. The Patience toward the Fig Tree – This is a noteworthy thought. The tree didn't just have a bad year or a bad season; this tree was habitually not producing what it was designed to produce. The master came to the end of his rope. In other words, “Enough was enough.” So he said, “CUT IT DOWN! It’s waste of good soil. These words need to resonate within the heart of every believer because God will not always strive with man.
6. The Plan for the Fig Tree – When the master was ready to give up, the worker asked, “Can we give it one last try?” Please, one more year, let me work it like I've never worked it before. I’ll fertilize it, soften the ground, water it, prune it, I give it my all this year. And if it doesn't respond?” At the risk of taking this illustration too far, in my divine imagination I can hear a hypothetical conversation between God the Father and God the Son going something like this; “These people are back where they were in the days of Noah.” “Father, you promised.” “I know, but I am once again regretting that I made mankind, they are so wickedly lazy.” “I know Father, but let me give it my best now.” “Why should we do that? I’ve given them my best and they trample on everything I told them to do.” “Father, I will go down there and live among them. I give them fresh water and the word and cultivate them as best as I can. If they don’t turn from their selfish evil ways, then you can do it your way.” And with that, Jesus left heaven, came to earth, shed His blood, gave His life, and taught about producing fruit. (Now, I know this did not, in reality, happen this way. But if we can grasp the meaning of the story, we move a step closer to understanding its significance and seriousness.) God has a plan for each of us. We are His fruit tree in His vineyard living under the shadow of His expectation.
7. The Prospects for the Fig Tree– It’s up to the fig tree. God give us the capacity to be fruitful and whether we do or whether we do not, is our responsibility. He gives us His love, His Spirit, His power, and His support.
Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always… Rejoice: The expression of Joy
Friday, March 8, 2013
8 Things that will kill your Youth Ministry
8 Things That Kill Youth Ministry:
1. Lack of Communication... The Leader needs to set the bar for Communication... Don't hope someone else will communicate for you...
2. Poor Planning... Fail to Plan=Plan to Fail. (Communicate the Plan) Plan Yearly and detail your Events...
3. The Same OLD Thing over and over..."just serving left-overs". "Keep it Fresh to Keep it REAL!“
4. The ME approach... *M*inimal *E*ffort "When it is all about you...this is all they get“
5. To Much, To Fast! "To Much leads to burn out... To Fast leaves everyone else in the dust“
6. Unbalanced diet... In ALL/ANY areas of the Youth Ministry or Youth Pastor.
7. Lack of TEAM... Lack of Relationships.
8. No Budget! Either no money or poor planning in spending the cash you do have. These are not in any type of order...
1. Lack of Communication... The Leader needs to set the bar for Communication... Don't hope someone else will communicate for you...
2. Poor Planning... Fail to Plan=Plan to Fail. (Communicate the Plan) Plan Yearly and detail your Events...
3. The Same OLD Thing over and over..."just serving left-overs". "Keep it Fresh to Keep it REAL!“
4. The ME approach... *M*inimal *E*ffort "When it is all about you...this is all they get“
5. To Much, To Fast! "To Much leads to burn out... To Fast leaves everyone else in the dust“
6. Unbalanced diet... In ALL/ANY areas of the Youth Ministry or Youth Pastor.
7. Lack of TEAM... Lack of Relationships.
8. No Budget! Either no money or poor planning in spending the cash you do have. These are not in any type of order...
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Leadership Thoughts
Leadership will cost you...
Emotional Cost... Drains the account fast!
Are you willing to pay the price?
Physical Cost... There is work to be done!
What happens behind the scenes?
Spiritual Cost... There will be attack.
Personal Cost... Keep your eyes on the goal!
Share that Vision...
1. Be you... Serve real food.
2. Consistently inconsistent... Build a creative team!
It Builds creative speakers.
3. Diet and workout.
Rather then measuring yourself by your success...
Measure yourself against the unfinished task...
Emotional Cost... Drains the account fast!
Are you willing to pay the price?
Physical Cost... There is work to be done!
What happens behind the scenes?
Spiritual Cost... There will be attack.
Personal Cost... Keep your eyes on the goal!
Share that Vision...
1. Be you... Serve real food.
2. Consistently inconsistent... Build a creative team!
It Builds creative speakers.
3. Diet and workout.
Rather then measuring yourself by your success...
Measure yourself against the unfinished task...
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Dealing with Teen Suicide
After our Edge youth service on a Wednesday a teen girl comes to me and says she believes her friend, who is also at the Edge, has been making herself throw up. Another teen confides he no longer wants to live. A parent comes to me after a Sunday service and explains that her teen daughter has been cutting her arms with a razor several times a week.
These situations are becoming more common in today’s teen culture. It is critical to understand and recognize these complex mental health issues and how we address them at church. It is also essential that our youth leaders equip themselves with adequate tools and resources so they can better assist families with teens in managing these situations.
This article provides clinical understanding of Teen Suicide then integrates clinical theory with a Christ-centered approach.
Warning signs of Teen Suicide
Most suicidal individuals give warning signs or signals of their intentions. The best way to prevent suicide is to recognize these warning signs and know how to respond if you spot them. If you believe that a friend or family member is suicidal, you can play a role in suicide prevention by pointing out the alternatives, showing that you care, and getting a doctor or psychologist involved.
Major warning signs for suicide include talking about killing or harming oneself, talking or writing a lot about death or dying, and seeking out things that could be used in a suicide attempt, such as weapons and drugs. These signals are even more dangerous if the person has a mood disorder such as depression or bipolar disorder, suffers from alcohol dependence, has previously attempted suicide, or has a family history of suicide.
Take any suicidal talk or behavior seriously. It's not just a warning sign that the person is thinking about suicide — it's a cry for help.
A more subtle but equally dangerous warning sign of suicide is hopelessness. Studies have found that hopelessness is a strong predictor of suicide. People who feel hopeless may talk about "unbearable" feelings, predict a bleak future, and state that they have nothing to look forward to.
Other warning signs that point to a suicidal mind frame include dramatic mood swings or sudden personality changes, such as going from outgoing to withdrawn or well-behaved to rebellious. A suicidal person may also lose interest in day-to-day activities, neglect his or her appearance, and show big changes in eating or sleeping habits.
Suicide Warning Signs
Talking about suicide Any talk about suicide, dying, or self-harm, such as "I wish I hadn't been born," "If I see you again...," and "I'd be better off dead."
Seeking out lethal means Seeking access to guns, pills, knives, or other objects that could be used in a suicide attempt.
Preoccupation with death Unusual focus on death, dying, or violence. Writing poems or stories about death.
No hope for the future Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and being trapped ("There's no way out"). Belief that things will never get better or change.
Self-loathing, self-hatred Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, shame, and self-hatred. Feeling like a burden ("Everyone would be better off without me").
Getting affairs in order Making out a will. Giving away prized possessions. Making arrangements for family members.
Saying goodbye Unusual or unexpected visits or calls to family and friends. Saying goodbye to people as if they won't be seen again.
Withdrawing from others Withdrawing from friends and family. Increasing social isolation. Desire to be left alone.
Self-destructive behavior Increased alcohol or drug use, reckless driving, unsafe sex. Taking unnecessary risks as if they have a "death wish."
Sudden sense of calm A sudden sense of calm and happiness after being extremely depressed can mean that the person has made a decision to commit suicide.
Suicide prevention tip #1: Speak up if you’re worried
If you spot the warning signs of suicide in someone you care about, you may wonder if it’s a good idea to say anything. What if you’re wrong? What if the person gets angry? In such situations, it's natural to feel uncomfortable or afraid. But anyone who talks about suicide or shows other warning signs needs immediate help—the sooner the better.
Talking to a person about suicide
Talking to a friend or family member about their suicidal thoughts and feelings can be extremely difficult for anyone. But if you're unsure whether someone is suicidal, the best way to find out is to ask. You can't make a person suicidal by showing that you care. In fact, giving a suicidal person the opportunity to express his or her feelings can provide relief from loneliness and pent-up negative feelings, and may prevent a suicide attempt.
Ways to start a conversation about suicide:
I have been feeling concerned about you lately.
Recently, I have noticed some differences in you and wondered how you are doing.
I wanted to check in with you because you haven’t seemed yourself lately.
Questions you can ask:
When did you begin feeling like this?
Did something happen that made you start feeling this way?
How can I best support you right now?
Have you thought about getting help?
What you can say that helps:
You are not alone in this. I’m here for you.
You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change.
I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.
When talking to a suicidal person
Do:
Be yourself. Let the person know you care, that he/she is not alone. The right words are often unimportant. If you are concerned, your voice and manner will show it.
Listen. Let the suicidal person unload despair, ventilate anger. No matter how negative the conversation seems, the fact that it exists is a positive sign.
Be sympathetic, non-judgmental, patient, calm, accepting. Your friend or family member is doing the right thing by talking about his/her feelings.
Offer hope. Reassure the person that help is available and that the suicidal feelings are temporary. Let the person know that his or her life is important to you.
If the person says things like, “I’m so depressed, I can’t go on,” ask the question: “Are you having thoughts of suicide?” You are not putting ideas in their head, you are showing that you are concerned, that you take them seriously, and that it’s OK for them to share their pain with you.
But don’t:
Argue with the suicidal person. Avoid saying things like: "You have so much to live for," "Your suicide will hurt your family," or “Look on the bright side.”
Promise confidentiality. Refuse to be sworn to secrecy. A life is at stake and you may need to speak to a mental health professional in order to keep the suicidal person safe. If you promise to keep your discussions secret, you may have to break your word.
Offer ways to fix their problems, or give advice, or make them feel like they have to justify their suicidal feelings. It is not about how bad the problem is, but how badly it’s hurting your friend or loved one.
Blame yourself. You can’t “fix” someone’s depression. Your loved one’s happiness or lack thereof, is not your responsibility.
Suicide prevention tip #2: Respond quickly in a crisis
If a friend or family member tells you that he or she is thinking about death or suicide, it's important to evaluate the immediate danger the person is in. Those at the highest risk for committing suicide in the near future have a specific suicide PLAN, the MEANS to carry out the plan, a TIME SET for doing it, and an INTENTION to do it.
Level of Suicide Risk
Low — Some suicidal thoughts. No suicide plan. Says he or she won't commit suicide.
Moderate — Suicidal thoughts. Vague plan that isn't very lethal. Says he or she won't commit suicide.
High — Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan that is highly lethal. Says he or she won't commit suicide.
Severe — Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan that is highly lethal. Says he or she will commit suicide.
The following questions can help you assess the immediate risk for suicide:
Do you have a suicide plan? (PLAN)
Do you have what you need to carry out your plan (pills, gun, etc.)? (MEANS)
Do you know when you would do it? (TIME SET)
Do you intend to commit suicide? (INTENTION)
If a suicide attempt seems imminent, call a local crisis center, dial 911, or take the person to an emergency room. Remove guns, drugs, knives, and other potentially lethal objects from the vicinity but do not, under any circumstances, leave a suicidal person alone.
Suicide prevention tip #3: Offer help and support
If a friend or family member is suicidal, the best way to help is by offering an empathetic, listening ear. Let your loved one know that he or she is not alone and that you care. Don't take responsibility, however, for making your loved one well. You can offer support, but you can't get better for a suicidal person. He or she has to make a personal commitment to recovery.
It takes a lot of courage to help someone who is suicidal. Witnessing a loved one dealing with thoughts about ending his or her own life can stir up many difficult emotions. As you're helping a suicidal person, don't forget to take care of yourself. Find someone that you trust—a friend, family member, pastor, or counselor—to talk to about your feelings and get support of your own.
Helping a suicidal person:
Get professional help. Do everything in your power to get a suicidal person the help he or she needs. Call a crisis line for advice and referrals. Encourage the person to see a mental health professional, help locate a treatment facility, or take them to a doctor's appointment.
Follow-up on treatment. If the doctor prescribes medication, make sure your friend or loved one takes it as directed. Be aware of possible side effects and be sure to notify the physician if the person seems to be getting worse. It often takes time and persistence to find the medication or therapy that’s right for a particular person.
Be proactive. Those contemplating suicide often don't believe they can be helped, so you may have to be more proactive at offering assistance. Saying, “Call me if you need anything” is too vague. Don’t wait for the person to call you or even to return your calls. Drop by, call again, invite the person out.
Encourage positive lifestyle changes, such as a healthy diet, plenty of sleep, and getting out in the sun or into nature for at least 30 minutes each day. Exercise is also extremely important as it releases endorphins, relieves stress, and promotes emotional well-being.
Make a safety plan. Help the person develop a set of steps he or she promises to follow during a suicidal crisis. It should identify any triggers that may lead to a suicidal crisis, such as an anniversary of a loss, alcohol, or stress from relationships. Also include contact numbers for the person's doctor or therapist, as well as friends and family members who will help in an emergency.
Remove potential means of suicide, such as pills, knives, razors, or firearms. If the person is likely to take an overdose, keep medications locked away or give out only as the person needs them.
Continue your support over the long haul. Even after the immediate suicidal crisis has passed, stay in touch with the person, periodically checking in or dropping by. Your support is vital to ensure your friend or loved one remains on the recovery track.
Risk factors for suicide
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, at least 90 percent of all people who commit suicide suffer from one or more mental disorders such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or alcoholism. Depression in particular plays a large role in suicide. The difficulty suicidal people have imagining a solution to their suffering is due in part to the distorted thinking caused by depression.
Antidepressants and Suicide
For some, depression medication causes an increase—rather than a decrease—in depression and suicidal thoughts and feelings. Because of this risk, the FDA advises that anyone on antidepressants should be watched for increases in suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Monitoring is especially important if this is the person's first time on depression medication or if the dose has recently been changed. The risk of suicide is the greatest during the first two months of antidepressant treatment.
Common suicide risk factors include:
Mental illness
Alcoholism or drug abuse
Previous suicide attempts
Family history of suicide
Terminal illness or chronic pain
Recent loss or stressful life event
Social isolation and loneliness
History of trauma or abuse
Suicide in Teens
Teenage suicide is a serious and growing problem. The teenage years can be emotionally turbulent and stressful. Teenagers face pressures to succeed and fit in. They may struggle with self-esteem issues, self-doubt, and feelings of alienation. For some, this leads to suicide. Depression is also a major risk factor for teen suicide.
Other risk factors for teenage suicide include:
Childhood abuse
Recent traumatic event
Lack of a support network Availability of a gun
Hostile social or school environment
Exposure to other teen suicides
Suicide warning signs in teens
Additional warning signs that a teen may be considering suicide:
Change in eating and sleeping habits
Withdrawal from friends, family, and regular activities
Violent or rebellious behavior, running away
Drug and alcohol use
Unusual neglect of personal appearance
Persistent boredom, difficulty concentrating, or a decline in the quality of schoolwork
Frequent complaints about physical symptoms, often related to emotions, such as stomachaches, headaches, fatigue, etc.
Not tolerating praise or rewards
When a teen reports self-injury, anorexia, bulimia, or suicidal thoughts, they are placing a great deal of trust in you. God has provided you with the opportunity to be His hands and feet. Meeting that teen at his place of need will include active listening skills and validating his thoughts and feelings. A teen is facing situations that are causing him to feel alone and or abandoned. Christ asks us to join the teen at this critical stage of life and walk beside him modeling healthy boundaries, managing emotions, and decision making under difficult circumstances. Being present with them in their pain and not over-reacting to the circumstances is an important part of modeling healthy responses.
Throughout the Gospel, Christ models these skill sets for us. One example is when Christ was with the woman at the well. He did not get on the emotional ride with her when she questioned His authority, “Are you greater then our Father Jacob?” (John 4:12). Instead Christ sat with her as she slowly opened up her story. It was then that He reflected back the truth of what she had become (validating her feelings) and then shared with her the truth of who He is. Understand the significance of the divine appointment God has given you with the hurting teen while you recognize the steps of supporting him.
Become comfortable with listening to a teen without attempting to solve their problems too quickly (over-spiritualizing or getting on the emotional ride with him) through active listening and validation skills. A practical tip is to say nothing for the first 5-10 minutes. As you are taking in what they are saying, you have opportunity to process your own thoughts and discern and pray about how to best respond. Meeting the teen at their place of need will not translate into becoming as upset as they are. However, it does mean remaining calm and rational as you begin to formulate an appropriate response.
When we are too quick to respond, over-spiritualize a problem, or get on the emotional ride with them, the teen becomes defensive or will shut down. Actively listen to them by paraphrasing and validating his feelings: “I can see why you are feeling overwhelmed. Anyone in your shoes would feel this way.” Avoid the “yes, but” or “I remember when I …” responses which will reverse the flow of dialog and make it about you and not them.
Many times I tell teens I can understand why they feel that way or acknowledge that the situations they are facing are difficult. I might see they are missing something, but it would not be helpful to point this out nor is it validating their perspective. Teens need to learn how to think through situations and find solutions. Listening will build trust in the relationship and open the door for teens to be receptive to what you have to say. At this stage of development, teens do not have the ability to think with functioning skills like adults; in fact, they will not have the full use of these skills until their early twenties. Therefore, advanced problem-solving skills in emotionally difficult circumstances are challenging for teens.
When dealing with high-risk circumstances like suicide, self-injury, and eating disordered behaviors, you are ethically and morally obligated to involve the teen’s parents. A practical way you can do this, without damaging the trust between you and the teen, might look like this: After listening and validating the teen, it is appropriate to share your concern about their well-being. Then you can state that this is something their parents need to be aware of because it is important to protect them and help them receive professional care. Provide the teen with options as to how they would like their parents to hear about what is going on. You might say, “I know this is a tough decision, so I am going to allow you to decide how your parents should be told. I can call them right now while you are in my office, or we can invite your mom to join us when she picks you up, and we can tell her together. Which do you prefer?” This will empower the teen to begin making decisions during emotional times. If they are too emotionally shut down or reactive, ask them for permission to make the decision.
If a teen is reporting suicidal thoughts or plans, do not let them leave or be alone before telling a parent about this. No matter how angry a teen becomes, remember they told you this because they wanted help and trusted you to make a wise decision. If a teen reports that someone is sexually or physically abusing him, you need to contact child services. If this person, who is abusing this teen, is outside the family, inform parents first. If the abuse involves a family member and they are at risk, then inform child services first. They will assist you in finding a safe place for the teen during the investigation
Not all teens will be willing to approach you if there is a high-risk situation in their life. If you suspect that a teen is struggling with an eating disorder, having suicidal thoughts or cutting, you need to approach them. Sit down with a teen in a nonthreatening way and ask how they are doing. Stay focused on the facts.
If they are resistant and you suspect the concern is valid, you will need to ethically protect that teen, while working on building trust. Most important, pray for the teen and ask God to reach out to her because He knows what she is facing.
An important part of working with youth at risk is consulting with other professionals. There is wisdom in counsel. If you are faced with this struggle and need help please feel free to call us #215-322-5433
These situations are becoming more common in today’s teen culture. It is critical to understand and recognize these complex mental health issues and how we address them at church. It is also essential that our youth leaders equip themselves with adequate tools and resources so they can better assist families with teens in managing these situations.
This article provides clinical understanding of Teen Suicide then integrates clinical theory with a Christ-centered approach.
Warning signs of Teen Suicide
Most suicidal individuals give warning signs or signals of their intentions. The best way to prevent suicide is to recognize these warning signs and know how to respond if you spot them. If you believe that a friend or family member is suicidal, you can play a role in suicide prevention by pointing out the alternatives, showing that you care, and getting a doctor or psychologist involved.
Major warning signs for suicide include talking about killing or harming oneself, talking or writing a lot about death or dying, and seeking out things that could be used in a suicide attempt, such as weapons and drugs. These signals are even more dangerous if the person has a mood disorder such as depression or bipolar disorder, suffers from alcohol dependence, has previously attempted suicide, or has a family history of suicide.
Take any suicidal talk or behavior seriously. It's not just a warning sign that the person is thinking about suicide — it's a cry for help.
A more subtle but equally dangerous warning sign of suicide is hopelessness. Studies have found that hopelessness is a strong predictor of suicide. People who feel hopeless may talk about "unbearable" feelings, predict a bleak future, and state that they have nothing to look forward to.
Other warning signs that point to a suicidal mind frame include dramatic mood swings or sudden personality changes, such as going from outgoing to withdrawn or well-behaved to rebellious. A suicidal person may also lose interest in day-to-day activities, neglect his or her appearance, and show big changes in eating or sleeping habits.
Suicide Warning Signs
Talking about suicide Any talk about suicide, dying, or self-harm, such as "I wish I hadn't been born," "If I see you again...," and "I'd be better off dead."
Seeking out lethal means Seeking access to guns, pills, knives, or other objects that could be used in a suicide attempt.
Preoccupation with death Unusual focus on death, dying, or violence. Writing poems or stories about death.
No hope for the future Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and being trapped ("There's no way out"). Belief that things will never get better or change.
Self-loathing, self-hatred Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, shame, and self-hatred. Feeling like a burden ("Everyone would be better off without me").
Getting affairs in order Making out a will. Giving away prized possessions. Making arrangements for family members.
Saying goodbye Unusual or unexpected visits or calls to family and friends. Saying goodbye to people as if they won't be seen again.
Withdrawing from others Withdrawing from friends and family. Increasing social isolation. Desire to be left alone.
Self-destructive behavior Increased alcohol or drug use, reckless driving, unsafe sex. Taking unnecessary risks as if they have a "death wish."
Sudden sense of calm A sudden sense of calm and happiness after being extremely depressed can mean that the person has made a decision to commit suicide.
Suicide prevention tip #1: Speak up if you’re worried
If you spot the warning signs of suicide in someone you care about, you may wonder if it’s a good idea to say anything. What if you’re wrong? What if the person gets angry? In such situations, it's natural to feel uncomfortable or afraid. But anyone who talks about suicide or shows other warning signs needs immediate help—the sooner the better.
Talking to a person about suicide
Talking to a friend or family member about their suicidal thoughts and feelings can be extremely difficult for anyone. But if you're unsure whether someone is suicidal, the best way to find out is to ask. You can't make a person suicidal by showing that you care. In fact, giving a suicidal person the opportunity to express his or her feelings can provide relief from loneliness and pent-up negative feelings, and may prevent a suicide attempt.
Ways to start a conversation about suicide:
I have been feeling concerned about you lately.
Recently, I have noticed some differences in you and wondered how you are doing.
I wanted to check in with you because you haven’t seemed yourself lately.
Questions you can ask:
When did you begin feeling like this?
Did something happen that made you start feeling this way?
How can I best support you right now?
Have you thought about getting help?
What you can say that helps:
You are not alone in this. I’m here for you.
You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change.
I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.
When talking to a suicidal person
Do:
Be yourself. Let the person know you care, that he/she is not alone. The right words are often unimportant. If you are concerned, your voice and manner will show it.
Listen. Let the suicidal person unload despair, ventilate anger. No matter how negative the conversation seems, the fact that it exists is a positive sign.
Be sympathetic, non-judgmental, patient, calm, accepting. Your friend or family member is doing the right thing by talking about his/her feelings.
Offer hope. Reassure the person that help is available and that the suicidal feelings are temporary. Let the person know that his or her life is important to you.
If the person says things like, “I’m so depressed, I can’t go on,” ask the question: “Are you having thoughts of suicide?” You are not putting ideas in their head, you are showing that you are concerned, that you take them seriously, and that it’s OK for them to share their pain with you.
But don’t:
Argue with the suicidal person. Avoid saying things like: "You have so much to live for," "Your suicide will hurt your family," or “Look on the bright side.”
Promise confidentiality. Refuse to be sworn to secrecy. A life is at stake and you may need to speak to a mental health professional in order to keep the suicidal person safe. If you promise to keep your discussions secret, you may have to break your word.
Offer ways to fix their problems, or give advice, or make them feel like they have to justify their suicidal feelings. It is not about how bad the problem is, but how badly it’s hurting your friend or loved one.
Blame yourself. You can’t “fix” someone’s depression. Your loved one’s happiness or lack thereof, is not your responsibility.
Suicide prevention tip #2: Respond quickly in a crisis
If a friend or family member tells you that he or she is thinking about death or suicide, it's important to evaluate the immediate danger the person is in. Those at the highest risk for committing suicide in the near future have a specific suicide PLAN, the MEANS to carry out the plan, a TIME SET for doing it, and an INTENTION to do it.
Level of Suicide Risk
Low — Some suicidal thoughts. No suicide plan. Says he or she won't commit suicide.
Moderate — Suicidal thoughts. Vague plan that isn't very lethal. Says he or she won't commit suicide.
High — Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan that is highly lethal. Says he or she won't commit suicide.
Severe — Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan that is highly lethal. Says he or she will commit suicide.
The following questions can help you assess the immediate risk for suicide:
Do you have a suicide plan? (PLAN)
Do you have what you need to carry out your plan (pills, gun, etc.)? (MEANS)
Do you know when you would do it? (TIME SET)
Do you intend to commit suicide? (INTENTION)
If a suicide attempt seems imminent, call a local crisis center, dial 911, or take the person to an emergency room. Remove guns, drugs, knives, and other potentially lethal objects from the vicinity but do not, under any circumstances, leave a suicidal person alone.
Suicide prevention tip #3: Offer help and support
If a friend or family member is suicidal, the best way to help is by offering an empathetic, listening ear. Let your loved one know that he or she is not alone and that you care. Don't take responsibility, however, for making your loved one well. You can offer support, but you can't get better for a suicidal person. He or she has to make a personal commitment to recovery.
It takes a lot of courage to help someone who is suicidal. Witnessing a loved one dealing with thoughts about ending his or her own life can stir up many difficult emotions. As you're helping a suicidal person, don't forget to take care of yourself. Find someone that you trust—a friend, family member, pastor, or counselor—to talk to about your feelings and get support of your own.
Helping a suicidal person:
Get professional help. Do everything in your power to get a suicidal person the help he or she needs. Call a crisis line for advice and referrals. Encourage the person to see a mental health professional, help locate a treatment facility, or take them to a doctor's appointment.
Follow-up on treatment. If the doctor prescribes medication, make sure your friend or loved one takes it as directed. Be aware of possible side effects and be sure to notify the physician if the person seems to be getting worse. It often takes time and persistence to find the medication or therapy that’s right for a particular person.
Be proactive. Those contemplating suicide often don't believe they can be helped, so you may have to be more proactive at offering assistance. Saying, “Call me if you need anything” is too vague. Don’t wait for the person to call you or even to return your calls. Drop by, call again, invite the person out.
Encourage positive lifestyle changes, such as a healthy diet, plenty of sleep, and getting out in the sun or into nature for at least 30 minutes each day. Exercise is also extremely important as it releases endorphins, relieves stress, and promotes emotional well-being.
Make a safety plan. Help the person develop a set of steps he or she promises to follow during a suicidal crisis. It should identify any triggers that may lead to a suicidal crisis, such as an anniversary of a loss, alcohol, or stress from relationships. Also include contact numbers for the person's doctor or therapist, as well as friends and family members who will help in an emergency.
Remove potential means of suicide, such as pills, knives, razors, or firearms. If the person is likely to take an overdose, keep medications locked away or give out only as the person needs them.
Continue your support over the long haul. Even after the immediate suicidal crisis has passed, stay in touch with the person, periodically checking in or dropping by. Your support is vital to ensure your friend or loved one remains on the recovery track.
Risk factors for suicide
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, at least 90 percent of all people who commit suicide suffer from one or more mental disorders such as depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or alcoholism. Depression in particular plays a large role in suicide. The difficulty suicidal people have imagining a solution to their suffering is due in part to the distorted thinking caused by depression.
Antidepressants and Suicide
For some, depression medication causes an increase—rather than a decrease—in depression and suicidal thoughts and feelings. Because of this risk, the FDA advises that anyone on antidepressants should be watched for increases in suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Monitoring is especially important if this is the person's first time on depression medication or if the dose has recently been changed. The risk of suicide is the greatest during the first two months of antidepressant treatment.
Common suicide risk factors include:
Mental illness
Alcoholism or drug abuse
Previous suicide attempts
Family history of suicide
Terminal illness or chronic pain
Recent loss or stressful life event
Social isolation and loneliness
History of trauma or abuse
Suicide in Teens
Teenage suicide is a serious and growing problem. The teenage years can be emotionally turbulent and stressful. Teenagers face pressures to succeed and fit in. They may struggle with self-esteem issues, self-doubt, and feelings of alienation. For some, this leads to suicide. Depression is also a major risk factor for teen suicide.
Other risk factors for teenage suicide include:
Childhood abuse
Recent traumatic event
Lack of a support network Availability of a gun
Hostile social or school environment
Exposure to other teen suicides
Suicide warning signs in teens
Additional warning signs that a teen may be considering suicide:
Change in eating and sleeping habits
Withdrawal from friends, family, and regular activities
Violent or rebellious behavior, running away
Drug and alcohol use
Unusual neglect of personal appearance
Persistent boredom, difficulty concentrating, or a decline in the quality of schoolwork
Frequent complaints about physical symptoms, often related to emotions, such as stomachaches, headaches, fatigue, etc.
Not tolerating praise or rewards
When a teen reports self-injury, anorexia, bulimia, or suicidal thoughts, they are placing a great deal of trust in you. God has provided you with the opportunity to be His hands and feet. Meeting that teen at his place of need will include active listening skills and validating his thoughts and feelings. A teen is facing situations that are causing him to feel alone and or abandoned. Christ asks us to join the teen at this critical stage of life and walk beside him modeling healthy boundaries, managing emotions, and decision making under difficult circumstances. Being present with them in their pain and not over-reacting to the circumstances is an important part of modeling healthy responses.
Throughout the Gospel, Christ models these skill sets for us. One example is when Christ was with the woman at the well. He did not get on the emotional ride with her when she questioned His authority, “Are you greater then our Father Jacob?” (John 4:12). Instead Christ sat with her as she slowly opened up her story. It was then that He reflected back the truth of what she had become (validating her feelings) and then shared with her the truth of who He is. Understand the significance of the divine appointment God has given you with the hurting teen while you recognize the steps of supporting him.
Become comfortable with listening to a teen without attempting to solve their problems too quickly (over-spiritualizing or getting on the emotional ride with him) through active listening and validation skills. A practical tip is to say nothing for the first 5-10 minutes. As you are taking in what they are saying, you have opportunity to process your own thoughts and discern and pray about how to best respond. Meeting the teen at their place of need will not translate into becoming as upset as they are. However, it does mean remaining calm and rational as you begin to formulate an appropriate response.
When we are too quick to respond, over-spiritualize a problem, or get on the emotional ride with them, the teen becomes defensive or will shut down. Actively listen to them by paraphrasing and validating his feelings: “I can see why you are feeling overwhelmed. Anyone in your shoes would feel this way.” Avoid the “yes, but” or “I remember when I …” responses which will reverse the flow of dialog and make it about you and not them.
Many times I tell teens I can understand why they feel that way or acknowledge that the situations they are facing are difficult. I might see they are missing something, but it would not be helpful to point this out nor is it validating their perspective. Teens need to learn how to think through situations and find solutions. Listening will build trust in the relationship and open the door for teens to be receptive to what you have to say. At this stage of development, teens do not have the ability to think with functioning skills like adults; in fact, they will not have the full use of these skills until their early twenties. Therefore, advanced problem-solving skills in emotionally difficult circumstances are challenging for teens.
When dealing with high-risk circumstances like suicide, self-injury, and eating disordered behaviors, you are ethically and morally obligated to involve the teen’s parents. A practical way you can do this, without damaging the trust between you and the teen, might look like this: After listening and validating the teen, it is appropriate to share your concern about their well-being. Then you can state that this is something their parents need to be aware of because it is important to protect them and help them receive professional care. Provide the teen with options as to how they would like their parents to hear about what is going on. You might say, “I know this is a tough decision, so I am going to allow you to decide how your parents should be told. I can call them right now while you are in my office, or we can invite your mom to join us when she picks you up, and we can tell her together. Which do you prefer?” This will empower the teen to begin making decisions during emotional times. If they are too emotionally shut down or reactive, ask them for permission to make the decision.
If a teen is reporting suicidal thoughts or plans, do not let them leave or be alone before telling a parent about this. No matter how angry a teen becomes, remember they told you this because they wanted help and trusted you to make a wise decision. If a teen reports that someone is sexually or physically abusing him, you need to contact child services. If this person, who is abusing this teen, is outside the family, inform parents first. If the abuse involves a family member and they are at risk, then inform child services first. They will assist you in finding a safe place for the teen during the investigation
Not all teens will be willing to approach you if there is a high-risk situation in their life. If you suspect that a teen is struggling with an eating disorder, having suicidal thoughts or cutting, you need to approach them. Sit down with a teen in a nonthreatening way and ask how they are doing. Stay focused on the facts.
If they are resistant and you suspect the concern is valid, you will need to ethically protect that teen, while working on building trust. Most important, pray for the teen and ask God to reach out to her because He knows what she is facing.
An important part of working with youth at risk is consulting with other professionals. There is wisdom in counsel. If you are faced with this struggle and need help please feel free to call us #215-322-5433
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Saturday in Tanzania
This morning following breakfast I made the journey back to Village of Hope. I was wrestling with fact that these children need a new roof. Bebe Helen pays for the care of the children out of her own pocket. The Lord has blessed her with much and she has given most of it to the orphanage. I returned to Village of Hope to give Bebe Helen $1000 toward a new roof. The gift from CLC brought tears to her eyes, knowing she now can begin replacing the roof before the rainy season. Total cost for a new roof is $2000.
As we visited Mwidu and spoke to the pastor of the church there, we asked how much the land cost. The church bought the 1.5 acres for $100. We asked about the open land (3acres total) next to the church... $200 will buy the land... $200 will remodel the church. We have given $400 toward this goal.
It blesses my heart to know we have helped an orphanage toward a new roof, paid for expanding a church we are placing a water well at. And launched a new church in Morogoro! With your help and God's blessing we have seen great things unfold!!
Tonight was our last evening service at ICC. God showed up and showed off as we worshipped Him and experienced the life changing power of His Word. Josh and I tagged teamed preached out of 2 Corinthians 4:1-7... Now that was fun!
What an amazing journey we have been on! God has met each need, dug deep into our lives and blessed His people through us. Thank You for praying for us as we continue to serve here in Morogoro, Tanzania.
Blessings and Goodnight from Tanzania, Africa!
As we visited Mwidu and spoke to the pastor of the church there, we asked how much the land cost. The church bought the 1.5 acres for $100. We asked about the open land (3acres total) next to the church... $200 will buy the land... $200 will remodel the church. We have given $400 toward this goal.
It blesses my heart to know we have helped an orphanage toward a new roof, paid for expanding a church we are placing a water well at. And launched a new church in Morogoro! With your help and God's blessing we have seen great things unfold!!
Tonight was our last evening service at ICC. God showed up and showed off as we worshipped Him and experienced the life changing power of His Word. Josh and I tagged teamed preached out of 2 Corinthians 4:1-7... Now that was fun!
What an amazing journey we have been on! God has met each need, dug deep into our lives and blessed His people through us. Thank You for praying for us as we continue to serve here in Morogoro, Tanzania.
Blessings and Goodnight from Tanzania, Africa!
Friday, August 17, 2012
Friday in Tanzania
Today we made the journey to Mwidu... Mwidu is the village where we are drilling a water well. There are about 1000 people that call Mwidu "Home". The fresh water source for the village is a hand-dug well. During the dry season the well is no more then a mud hole. The only other option is paying for water that is being brought from 3miles away. The cost of water is 50cents per five gallons. An average family daily income is about $4 per day.
The village council met us and we shared with them the news of drilling a well in their village... Theirs eyes lit up, began looking at each other and laughter of disbelief turned to belief... Because we were there! The council then led us to the watering hole that served the village. Pictures can tell the story so much better...will share those later.
The well will go in on the land of the church... Allowing the pastor of the church to "father" the well. All those coming to get water will have an opportunity to met someone from the church. Not only will they water but true living water!
After lunch we headed to the church for service. ICC is starting to feel more like church and the Body of Christ. God showed up as we worshipped and filled the house. Olivia and Kandle (a friend we met here) both shared testimonies and I preached on "The Battle Within". Our team prayed with many at the altar as they responded to the call.
Friendships are growing, people are being reached and we are all serving the Lord with good health and strength.
Blessings & Goodnight from Morogoro, Tanzania
The village council met us and we shared with them the news of drilling a well in their village... Theirs eyes lit up, began looking at each other and laughter of disbelief turned to belief... Because we were there! The council then led us to the watering hole that served the village. Pictures can tell the story so much better...will share those later.
The well will go in on the land of the church... Allowing the pastor of the church to "father" the well. All those coming to get water will have an opportunity to met someone from the church. Not only will they water but true living water!
After lunch we headed to the church for service. ICC is starting to feel more like church and the Body of Christ. God showed up as we worshipped and filled the house. Olivia and Kandle (a friend we met here) both shared testimonies and I preached on "The Battle Within". Our team prayed with many at the altar as they responded to the call.
Friendships are growing, people are being reached and we are all serving the Lord with good health and strength.
Blessings & Goodnight from Morogoro, Tanzania
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